Jeff LiCalzi
Mental Health Therapist“Definitely NOT your father’s therapist!”
“One of the unique strengths I have seen in Jeffrey is his ability to quietly hold a container for others in the midst of upset or chaos. He is a calm and steady presence that radiates around him. He is able to mediate conflict and create new options in behavior”
~ Janet Schreiber
My Story
Although I identify as Queer these days, back then I used the word GAY. In the late 70’s and early 80’s Queer wasn’t the all-encompassing inclusive term it is today. Back then it was right up there with being called a dirty faggot. And yes, I was called that plenty of times. I’ve had bricks throw out car windows at my head and I’ve run for my life being chased by a bunch of drunken frat boys on Fire Island. I’m grateful because it made me very aware of prejudice and prevented me from growing up to be a cis white privileged asshole. It taught me compassion and understanding.
I grew up in New York and was active in the early days of the political and social movement in NYC. I was a huge fan of Larry Kramer and his unabashed and unapologetic outspokenness. I was shy back then and lived somewhat vicariously through people like him. I stood by and watched as President Reagan, the mayor of NYC and even those closest to me laughed and watched as all those around me got sick and were dying of this strange new disease called AIDS. My own father took me aside and told me maybe I shouldn’t touch the grandchildren because, you know, what if I had that “AIDS thing” too? But it was only queers dying so what was the big deal? I never forgot it and it helped create the outspoken person I am today. I will never stand by and watch another’s suffering in silence.
Specialities:
I specialize and provide a unique perspective on LGBTQI+ related concerns. I am sex positive and always maintain a non-judgmental and supportive environment.
LGBTQI+
Trans & Queer Theory
Sexuality
Anxiety
Coming out
Gender
POLY
KINK/FETISH
Sex-work
BDSM
Grief, loss & Trauma
Psychosocial Oncology
Internalized Homophobia
White supremacy and how it affects marginalized groups
My Approach
Although I’ve been an actual therapist for over ten years now I sometimes wish I had gone to school for counseling when I was in my twenties. But if I had done that I’d have missed out on the rich life experience and occupations I’ve had over the years, all of which have made me a better therapist. I’ve been a construction worker, a cook, a waiter, a banker, a property manager, a bar/nightclub owner, an entrepreneur, and suffered both failures and success. I’ve learned the most from my failures.
I’ve lived all over the country and someday hope to travel the world. I’ve unofficially done “counseling” my entire life. I’ve been a big brother to LGBTQI youth and I’ve volunteered at various socio and political organizations over the years. The switchboard I started more than 30 years ago, is still in existence today and I’m quite proud of that. During my tenure in Santa Fe, NM I worked with homeless queer youth and ran numerous support groups for gay, trans and queer individuals.
At the same time, I gained invaluable experience working with my mentor and friend Janet Schreiber at the Santa Fe Survivors of Suicide group. Hopefully, I can get a group started here in North Carolina down the road.
Parrot Assisted Therapy
Occasionally and when appropriate, Jeff brings his two parrots to sessions. Jeff has done informal animal assisted therapy for 15 years. He is an experienced parrot enthusiast and trains others in caring for their birds. Feel free to ask him about his birds.
Get in touch
Call, text, or email today to schedule your free 15-minute consultation. If you’d like to meet via Video feel free to click the link and make an appointment yourself.